Tips for Writing Obituaries that Represent the Life Lived

writing-personalized-obituaries

I first saw this obituary in the post Unconventional Obituaries, Get Prepared For The Future on ConnectingDirectors.com, and it got me thinking about how difficult it can be to write an obituary that truly represents the life lived.

Check out this crazy, unconventional obituary (trust me, it’s worth it) and think about how you can incorporate a personal touch into the next obituary you write:

A Celebration of the life of Michael “Flathead” Blanchard will be held on April 14th, 3 pm 8160 Rosemary St, Commerce City. Weary of reading obituaries noting someone’s courageous battle with death, Mike wanted it known that he died as a result of being stubborn, refusing to follow doctors’ orders and raising hell for more than six decades. He enjoyed booze, guns, cars and younger women until the day he died.

Mike was born July 1944 in Colorado to Clyde and Ethel Blanchard. A community activist, he is noted for saving the Dr. Justina Ford house from demolition and defending those who could not defend themselves. He was a Republican delegate, life member of the NRA, founder and President of the Dead Cats MC. He loved music.

Mike was preceded in death by Clyde and Ethel Blanchard, survived by his beloved sons Mike and Chopper, former wife Jane Transue, brother Stephen Blanchard (Susan), Uncle Don and Aunt Cynthia Blanchard(his favorite); Uncle Dill and Aunt Dot, cousins and nephews, Baba Yaga can kiss his butt. So many of his childhood friends that weren’t killed in Vietnam went on to become criminals, prostitutes and/or Democrats. He asks that you stop by and re-tell the stories he can no longer tell. As the Celebration will contain Adult material we respectfully ask that no children under 18 attend.

Although I did not know Michael Blanchard, I have to assume this is an accurate representation of who he was and how he wanted to be remembered.

Funeral home websites are becoming more socially interactive, making the community less dependent on reading obituaries in the weekly newspaper. This provides an opportunity for funeral homes and their families to be more creative with the obituaries they write—making it a true representation of the life of the deceased. We’re not saying you have to go to an extreme and write obituaries as unconventional as Michael “Flathead” Blanchard’s, but personalized obituaries can add an unexpected, memorable touch.

Here are 4 tips for writing obituaries that represent and memorialize the life lived:

Listen to your families: Your families knew the deceased best, and have the best insight into how their loved one wanted to be remembered. Don’t just talk to them about when their loved one was born and who they are survived by. Really listen to what your families have to say about them and try to capture the emotions they share in the obituary.

 

Share personal stories: A great obituary tells the story of the life lived. Sharing personal stories in an obituary builds the foundation of who the person was and triggers emotional memories in the friends and family of the deceased. Storytelling also adds a personal touch for those who didn’t know the deceased, giving them the ability to relate with the different sides of their personality. Ask the family to share their favorite memories and how they will remember their loved one for years to come.

 

Include bizarre and interesting facts: While interviewing your families, be sure to ask for information they may not think about sharing. For example, maybe their loved one was extremely superstitions or fascinated by the supernatural. Try to discover things that not everyone would have known about the person. Even those who knew the deceased well will appreciate learning something new.

 

Don’t be afraid to use humor: We all know death is difficult to accept, but it doesn’t always have to be all doom and gloom. As a final celebration of their loved one’s life, try to write in a way that makes your families smile and remember the good times. Obviously, you need to use your best judgment based on the circumstances. But if the family speaks lightheartedly about the deceased and shares humorous stories with you, don’t be afraid to portray that in the obituary (if you have their approval).

 

Do you have any tips to share that have helped you write more personal obituaries for your families? Please share your comments below!

Leave a Reply

Note: You can use basic XHTML in your comments.

  1. Kim Stacey

    Usually, our client families submit the obituary content they want us to use – and commonly, I’ve simply got the job of correcting oodles of typos and grammatical problems. Very rarely have I been asked to write an obituary on their behalf – although I’ve always offered. I agree with all your points, Kelly; humor and personal interests make the deceased really accessible to the readers. Yet, sometimes I find families want to put their loved one on a pedestal, and remove those quirky parts…as if they are flaws instead of positives! 

  2. Kim Stacey

    Usually, our client families submit the obituary content they want us to use – and commonly, I’ve simply got the job of correcting oodles of typos and grammatical problems. Very rarely have I been asked to write an obituary on their behalf – although I’ve always offered. I agree with all your points, Kelly; humor and personal interests make the deceased really accessible to the readers. Yet, sometimes I find families want to put their loved one on a pedestal, and remove those quirky parts…as if they are flaws instead of positives! 

  3. Why the Standard Obituary is Dead (And What You Can Do about It) | Funeral Blog. The official blog for the funeral & cemetery professions.

    […] spot in a newspaper that simply fades into oblivion with the next day’s edition. They want their loved one’s story told and shared in a way that truly memorializes the life […]