These Questions Will Help You Design The Perfect Personalized Funerals

It’s no secret, it’s not always easy to get grieving family members or friends to talk about their loved ones. They are emotional. They are stressed. They just want to go home and hide under the covers pretending this hasn’t happened. Yet, by asking the right questions, you can discover more about a person’s hobbies, passions, and memorable life moments to create a fitting funeral tribute.

Every funeral director will ask questions about the loved one’s occupation, birthplace, family relationships, offspring, and seek to determine if the service should be religious or not and whether a priest, minister, or other celebrant will be involved. But, you can set yourself apart by adding value and asking questions that help you to personalize a service and truly celebrate the life lived.

Professional Life

To learn more about the individual’s occupation and professional achievements, consider asking:

  • What was your loved one’s proudest professional moment?
  • Did your loved one always do his current/most recent work? Or did his career take twists and turns?
  • What special skills/attributes did your loved bring to her work?What was his favorite part of his job?


Personal Life

Not everyone wants to be defined by their work. Ask about the individual’s activities or hobbies. Where did he most love to visit?How did she spend her free time?

  • Did your loved one collect anything?
  • What were her three most prized possessions?
  • What was his favorite thing to do with you and/or his family?
  • What were some of her fondest memories?
  • What are some of your fondest memories of your loved one?


Some of us don’t have to actually get out and do things to be passionate about the world around us. These questions can help you dig deeper too:

  • What would your loved one list as his four favorite things?
  • Did your loved one support certain sports teams?
  • What kind of movies did your loved one enjoy?
  • Did she volunteer in the community?
  • What was your loved one’s favorite song?
  • Did he enjoy any sort of physical activity?
  • Did she like to attend live events, if so what kind?


A funeral service that really resonates with guests captures the individual’s personality, and is specific to him or her as a unique human. Try a few of these questions to see what inspiration you can gain for as you plan their funeral services:

  • Was your loved one more of a beach, cottage, adventure travel, or Five-Star hotel vacationer?
  • Which would your loved one prefer: black and white, animated, action, romance, or mystery movies?
  • Which of these would she prefer in her home: a recliner and a big screen TV, a kitchen where she can cook for everyone, a quiet spot to read, a garden to tend, or a sewing machine and craft room?
  • If you had only three adjectives to describe him, what would they be?

What to do with the answers

When your families take the time to field your questions, you can craft a celebration of the loved one’s life that speaks to who that person was and what he or she loved most in life.

You might: 

  • Use the information about favorite music to make a playlist for the visitation that feels familiar to the family and friends.
  • Reach out to people involved in the “proudest professional moment” to tell you more and share their images from the event or to provide other memorabilia to create a display recalling this great achievement.
  • Put a unique spin on your typical tribute video by taking the funeral guests on a journey to the loved one’s favorite destination with images, music from that location, and even photographs of the individual on trips there through the years.

The personality questions could also help you to gauge the type of funeral services the individual would enjoy. The beachgoer, for example, is likely to appreciate a more laidback event than the Five-Star hotel goer who might be better represented with a sleek, modern approach. A gardener might be celebrated with a temporary living wall of greenery while those sharing their love for someone who was crafty might be invited to use fabric markers to sign quilt squares in lieu of the traditional guest book.

Personalize your funeral services to celebrate the unique life lived with Life Tributes Personalization software. Click here to try it free. 

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  1. Graham Burton

    Well written Rocelle ,much like when starting with a jigsaw .Information from families asked in a professional manner and listening to ones wishes for their loved one goes along way in preparing a celebration for the day of which no one looks forward to and yet preparation goes along way for the family never to forget their loved one .

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