Dear grieving heart,

I know that loss is one of the most intense tribulations we are to experience during our precious and short time here.

Knowing that everyone experiences loss to some degree many times during their lifetime, wouldn’t it be nice if there were more spaces for us to seek comfort, support, and inspiration?

That’s what I hope this space is for you, grieving heart.

Although I wish I could reach through the screen and hug you, or a share a comforting hand, I hope these words will do.

1. Remember, grieving isn’t supposed to be easy.

If your grief is feeling overwhelming or exhausting, and you’re wondering how in the world anyone could ever understand the weight of it, please know that it’s not supposed to be easy. No one has ever walked away from a loss and said “Oh, that was easy.” Doesn’t that feel validating? Let it sink in.

2. Don’t fight your grief. 

Can you surrender to that feeling? The pit in your stomach? The lump in your throat? Can you just… feel it, and not fix it? Honor this feeling. It is one of the deepest lessons you will learn in your life. And you have to feel it to heal it.

3. Hold space for yourself.

It’s easier said than done to say “feel it to heal it”, right? But the truth is, you would not be experiencing this depth of grief if you weren’t strong enough for it. So don’t be afraid to hold yourself in it. Stay in bed all day, then get out of bed and bask in the sun. Cry to your favorite sad songs. Go for a walk. Call a friend. Meditate. Do what you need, and prioritize your healing. 

4. If you can’t hold yourself, ask to be held.

One of the most difficult things to do is to reach out and ask for help. Most people have a hard time receiving support without thinking they need to reciprocate it. What if you could dare yourself to ask for a friend to come over and hold space for you? What if you could just receive that? This grief is teaching you how to hold, and to be held. Remember both are just as important for your healing.

5. Step back every once in a while.

It can be easy to get lost in the waves of grief.  It might feel heavy, as if it could swallow you whole. Once you allow yourself to feel it, close your eyes and take a few breaths, and try this meditation:

Imagine yourself a few hundred feet above yourself, looking down on your life. Allow yourself to observe your life like a news reporter. Watch yourself moving through this grief. 

When you take a step back, what blessings or miracles have come your way recently? What ways are you being naturally supported by the universe, or people in your life? Could you send a little blessing down to yourself, like a blessing for ease and grace through this grief journey? 

Bless yourself, come back down to your heart. Receive the experience. And repeat when necessary.

6. Observe your strength daily.

This grief is teaching you a soft strength you have never known. And each day you make it through, is a win for you. Allow yourself to observe your strength each day, like the ways you show up for yourself. Maybe you called a friend. Or went for a walk near the grave. Congratulate yourself on each step you take towards your healing. 

7. Remind yourself that, healing isn’t linear.

Some days you will take steps forward. Others might feel like steps backwards. Grief is a daily dance, not a linear process. Be patient with it. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with your heart.

8. Come back to your heart again and again.

The ancient poet Rumi once said, “Through love, all pain turns to medicine.” The heart is the place where healing happens. Remember to come back to your heart as often as possible. When the wave of pain comes, come back to the heart. When the anger comes, back to the heart. When the sadness is overwhelming, come back to your heart. This is the place where everything becomes medicine. Never forget that.

9. Finally, let your grief flow through you creatively.

In ancient times, those who grieved were considered to be the closest to God, and were revered as sacred beings during their time of grief in their tribes. It is during these times of grief when creative energy wants to move through you. 

Consider yourself lit up with the light of God, Creator, or however you refer to the higher power among us. And let it flow through you. Let your words out through poetry, songs, or just freely sharing with a friend. Paint your pain with your fingers. Most of the greatest works of art came through grief processes, so embrace it, and let it flow through you. Don’t keep it in.

Before you go…

I hope these reminders were able to uplift, inspire, or bring peace to you, grieving heart.

May you enjoy the fullness of your process. 

May you find peace where there is none. 

May you forever remember that you are never alone.

P.S. Want to offer daily inspirational grief messages like this one to your client families? Learn more about adding a FREE e-aftercare tool, Daily Email Affirmations, by clicking here. 

What are some self care tips you have for a grieving heart? Tell us in the comments below!

Rochelle Rietow

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