14 Lessons on Grief & Loss From Our Readers

Lesson #1: “Grief is one of the purest forms of love.”

– Gabor S.

Some people say that the level to which we love is the level to which we grieve. The more we love, the more at risk we are to dive deep into the ocean of grief when we lose our loved ones. This is the hard but powerful gift of our humanity.

 

Lesson #2: “[Grief is] one of the few emotions that can change us to the core of who we are.”

– Jessica M.

I’ve witnessed plenty of people completely change their lives after a loss. Especially deep ones. Grief truly forces us to look deeply into our own lives and who we are now, and who we’d like to be. Grief is a force powerful enough to dissolve everything away that isn’t’ for us.

 

 

Lesson #3: “It’s the price we pay for having enjoyed great love.”

– Joseph K.

Which would you choose – to not love and to feel the depths of your heart, or to love greatly and suffer greatly? This is the choice we can make. Don’t accept mediocrity out of fear. Open your heart and let love in!

 

Lesson #4: “Everyone grieves differently and it manifests itself in all the emotional ranges.”

– Gene M.

Grief can look like sadness. Or it can look like anger. Or denial. Or resentment. It has many faces. So be kind to yourself and have your grief the way you need it.

 

Lesson #5: “Don’t ever let someone else tell you how you should grieve.”

– Allan W.

Let’s do away with guilt or shame around the way we grieve. You deserve your own path of grief because it is uniquely healing you in only a way you understand. And as well as deserving your own path, so does everyone else. So don’t ever judge anyone for how long they take to grieve. That creates unnecessary separation.

 

Lesson #6: “It never ends and it never lets you know when it’s going to come around and cripple you.”

– Nina V.

It’s true that grief can be crippling. Overwhelming. Life draining. You may not want to get out of bed for a day, a week, or even a month. But what if you could just accept your grief for what it’s trying to do for you? It’s a gift, to grieve. It shows you the depths of your being. So open to that, and stay present.

 

Lesson #7: “There is no end to grief. Living a life with it is the goal.”

– John K.

We may not be able to change loss or make grief go away. Ever. Truly. But we can always change how we relate to our grief. This takes time, which leads us to our next lesson…

 

Lesson #8: “Take it one day at a time”

– Nina C.

Even more, what if you could take it one moment at a time? One breath at a time? The more present we can be, the less overwhelmed we are. You may not be able to hold it all for a long time, but can you right now? Can you be with what is just for this breath? Try it and see. 

 

Lesson #9: “That it’s something we need to be taught about early in life, so we can learn to be there for ourselves and others.”

– Kiki B.

This is so true! We are lacking proper education on grief and supporting each other through grief. This should be part of our abc-123’s!

 

Lesson #10: “You can’t rush through it.”

– Susan W.

Just like Trevor Hall’s song says, “you can’t rush your healing”. If you need this reminder, give this song a listen (below).


 
 

Lesson #11: “Not to bury the pain.”

– Peter K.

In our society, we are encouraged to drink away, shop away, and numb away from our pain. However, the pain will always be there. And what happens when we ignore it is that our heart hardens around it to protect us from feeling it again. And this is what creates sickness, dis-ease and all kinds of hard experiences. Better to feel it to heal it!

 

 

Lesson #12: “Not to be afraid to share (your) feelings.”

– Jane M.

It’s so important to have a support system through our grief journeys. Without someone to talk to, we keep everything bottled up inside. That’s a tough gig, to hold it all together on your own. I don’t wish that for anyone, especially you, dear reader.

 

Lesson #13: “Someone doesn’t have to die for you to grieve the loss of the relationship; knowing they’re still there, but not available to you, has the same power to disable you if you allow grief to take over your life.”

– Wendy O.

Grief does come in many flavors. We may even grieve older versions of our selves, or our lives. And remember it’s totally ok to grieve anything you want to grieve! No one else outside of you can tell you what you can and cannot grieve about. 

 

Lesson #14: “That it deserves to be honored deeply ❤️”

– Krystal P.

Yes, it’s true. Grief deserves reverence and honoring. Many of us turn our noses up to it because we don’t want to look it in the eyes. But it’s so worth it. I promise.

 

What are some of the most important lessons you’ve learned from grief? Tell us below 🙂

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